To the left, please. Nothing to see over here.
Hollywood, we have a problem. A very big problem, given the staggering scope (100 celebs and counting) and the fact that some of the stars involved (Jennifer Lawrence, Ariana Grande, Rihanna) are bona fide A-listers with a capital A.
Far from being titillating, Tinseltown’s, shall we say, Edison Chen situation makes me sad. Sad, and angry, too. All 100 celebs, not to mention the key “player” in this kerfuffle – that’ll be Jennifer Lawrence, natch – have been rudely divested of the most basic tenets of dignity.
And because most all of the victims are women, this privacy scandal has frothed over into something of a feminist fuss, too (which I completely understand, by the way.)
Sidebar: The fact that a bunch of hackers have been able to “penetrate” the tech walls erected around the electronic devices of said celebs makes this case of sexual violation more than a little unnerving. I mean, if this could happen to J-Law, what more E-Quek?
Several (admittedly sanctimonious) think-pieces have been penned urging us not to give these stolen snapshots any more eyeballs.
A fair point, and more power to them, given that a couple of truly sickening sleazeballs on the Interweb have been canvassing for Paypal cash in return for clips of my beloved beleaguered J-Law allegedly doing the nasty. To which the only appropriate response, really, is this gem of a Bey reaction:
You want pictures? We’ve got pictures. In the spirit of the (pun alert) graphic nature of this developing story, here’s what I propose we do. Instead of gawking guiltily at the nudies making their rounds, let’s revel in the singular ray of silver-screen sunshine that is Jennifer Lawrence.
From an achingly cool crop to her penchant for pulling the funniest faces, here’s an entirely legal, entirely ethical sampling of the best J-Law has to offer.
Because say what you will of her, this girl gives good GIF. Enjoy!
Oh yeah, let’s throw in a trio of the most witty wisecracks from the Twitterati for good measure. Your boss will understand if he or she catches you smirking at your computer screen!
@RLW_Mole is 1 of 100 celebrities who've been hacked. This nude pic just posted online in the US #jenniferlawrencepic.twitter.com/1mPQy8bjyw
— NRL Trends (@NRLData) September 1, 2014
In support of Jennifer Lawrence I am also posting nudes. #JenniferLawrence#JenniferLawrenceWeSupportYoupic.twitter.com/TdxL8Grh55
— Grady Eldridge (@gradyistacos) August 31, 2014
Current attitude of Jennifer Lawrence's publicist pic.twitter.com/cwes1E1XXH
— LaurenTenner (@LaurenTenner) September 1, 2014