Occupational hazard: Sheepish relatives sidling up to me mid-meal, requesting “a quick word” on this or that skin affliction. And I’m like dude, I’m not a grooming Greek god, you know.
Look, it’s not that I don’t want to lift a finger to help – my hands are usually tied, so to speak – but there are certain happy exceptions to the hands-off rule. Take today, for instance. My sister texted to ask if I had any pro tips for whitening yellowed nails … and what do you know, I most certainly do!
Here’s the “dark” side to pitch-black polish. Granted, your goth greens and midnight blues may look bangin’ on a weekend out and about, but they’re also staining your nails a sickly shade of yellow the morning after. Not a good look.
Now, the whys and wherefores of nail darkening probably involve some hardcore sciency stuff, but I like to think of the effect of excessive manicures as being somewhat similar to how downing coffee, tea and other blackish brews can cause tooth discolouration.
By the same token, the trick to restoring your nails to their pristine pink state is the exact same as that for your pearly whites: Hydrogen peroxide by way of teeth whitening strips. Genius, yes? Told you I had “talon” for this sort of sorcery.
What I do is use a pair of scissors to snip my strips into nifty, nail-sized segments; this is pretty eye-watering work, so I prep them in batches and stash the rest into a jar for future use.
The rest is incredibly intuitive: Simply stick the strips onto naked nails; kick up your kitten heels for 15 minutes or so, scrape off and rinse with warm water. Do this daily for a week and with any luck, your tainted talons should lighten up considerably.
Now, I know that teeth whitening strips are pretty pricey. If this treatment seems like too much of an indulgence to swallow, try this instead. Head to your nearest pharmacy and ask for over-the-counter hydrogen peroxide; most brands hover around the three percent mark. (Scrutinise the label to make sure it doesn’t exceed the three percent threshold; any higher and there’s no guarantee you won’t get your fingers burnt.)
In any case, mix one tablespoon of said three percent bleaching agent with about two tablespoons of baking soda. This creates a paste that you can plaster like polish over your nails; wait a couple of minutes and wash off.
Still unwilling to dirty your hands? Fine, do it your way and pamper yourself with Dior’s Nail Glow, which rates as one of my favourite luxe lacquers ever. This translucent treatment boasts near-magical transformative powers: Just one swipe and the pink of your nail appears pinker and the whites, whiter. An instant French manicure of sorts that’s incredibly subtle, too – your best guy friend (read: me) wouldn’t have any problems pulling this off.
Also getting a thumbs up this season is Cosme Decorte with its absolutely divine Nail Enamel duo in Engagement and Eternalness – both hues being every bit as blissful and bridal as their amusingly virginal monikers. The Japanese prestige brand says the polish uses an oxygen-permeable pigment that’s culled from contact lens know-how. Translation? Your nails can quite literally breathe with this polish on.
Key takeaways? I’ve given you three options here. You can either spruce up your yellowing nails with teeth whitening strips; create your custom curative with baking soda and hydrogen peroxide; or opt for cuticle-comforting concoctions off the counter. Oh, and lay off the darker hues for a bit. Crossing my fingers that this works for you!
Cosme Decorte AW MW Nail Enamel in Engagement and Eternalness, $31 each, are available at at all Kose counters. For more information, visit www.kose.com.sg and follow Kose Singapore on Facebook.
Dior Nail Glow, $37, is available at the Dior Backstage Studio at B2-44/46 ION Orchard and at all Dior counters. For more information, visit www.dior.com/beauty and follow the brand on Facebook.