You can’t make these things up. Humblebrag alert: I’ve canoodled with Cate Blanchett and Michele Reis, among other luminous luminaries, but this interview is the most confounding one yet.
Ladies and gents, meet Marge, spouse of Homer Simpson and the yellow new face of M.A.C Cosmetics’ insanely covetable Simpson’s collection. D’oh.
So many questions. Is her radioactive hometown of Springfield part of our universe? How many mint-green tube dresses does she own, exactly? And is a vampire squirrelled away in her blue beehive the secret to her ageless appearance?
Ah, well. When Marge Simpson speaks, we listen. Let’s just roll with the punches and see where this rabbit-hole leads us, shall we.
The exact height of Marge’s monumental hairdo is … Drumroll, please. On the record, quite possibly for the first time and straight from the cartoon’s mouth: “It’s two feet tall, just like anyone else’s.” No word if the hair’s all hers or whether there’s some wig witchery going on.
Beauty buddies, take notes. This is the key to immortality. Marge says magic happens when you well, don’t change your clothes: “Wear the same outfit every day of your life if you can help it. It’s worked for me!”
Oh yeah, and it probably helps to be a little loony, too. Make what you will of the following doozy of a quote: “I don’t really know how I stay so young! Homer and I were just talking about that at Bart’s 25th tenth birthday party.”
My head hurts just trying to wrap itself around that. Moving along …
Good ol' Marge, always in on the latest pop culture gag. #Anaconda
Single and looking to snag a Homer of your own? Wear this lippie (or twerk like Nicki Minaj in Anaconda). If you can’t already tell, the matriarch of the family has a really fun sense of humour – probably necessary if you’re married to someone like Homer Simpson. “He goes wild when I wear [M.A.C lipstick in] Carnal Instinct (a gorgeous gold-flecked burgundy), though it might be because he thinks it’s called Caramel Instinct.”
Marge’s top style tip for switching up your day and night looks? Listen, up, girls. This is an honest-to-goodness pearl of wisdom: “I slip off my day red pearls and put on my evening red pearls. They are different you just have to look really, really close.” Uh, okay.
If you have a hubby like Homer Simpson, blusher is strictly optional. Marge’s makeup must-haves? No cheek colour, please: “Definitely lipstick and mascara, [although] most days Bart or Homer does something that makes me blush, so I’m covered there!”
While we’re on the topic of beauty, Marge says she’d love to switch things up with a flirty flick of eyeliner: “I’d love to try a cateye – but I think our dog wouldn’t be too crazy about it. I don’t like to play favorites with my pets.”
Back to serious business! Once your sides have stopped aching from laughing, you should scoot down to the nearest M.A.C cabin to suss out the collection, which boasts incredibly adorable eye quads, fab falsies and intensely pigmented neon Lip Glasses.
Have fun getting a Marge makeover, and cheers to the woman for maintaining some degree of sanity in the Simpsons household (it’s tough, we know)!
The M.A.C Cosmetics Simpsons collection, $25 to $77, is available at all M.A.C counters. For more information, visit www.maccosmetics.com.sg and follow the brand on Facebook and on YouTube.