1 HE DOESN’T RESPOND WHEN YOU SPEAK TO HIM
Yes, it is frustrating when you have to repeat yourself several times before getting an answer from Hubby. But your spouse’s inattentiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s ignoring you. “Men can become so absorbed in their tasks that they don’t want to be disturbed,” says Lilian. “If you want to catch up with him or talk to him about something important, let him know. Agree on a proper time to talk, away from the distractions of TV or technology.”
If you feel he’s unresponsive most of the time, even when he doesn’t seem to be busy, tell him how frustrated you feel when it happens. “Give concrete examples of the times when you talked to him and there was no response. Let him know how tiring it is to have to repeatedly ask him a question before getting an answer. Hear his reasons why and ask that he gives you an immediate reply the next time you ask him something,” suggests Lilian.
2 HE’S ALWAYS LATE
Tell him how his lateness is affecting your life. Get him to give you a heads-up if he is running late, so that you can manage your time better. You may also wish to add at least a 15-minute buffer to your appointment time with Hubby. Arrange to meet him at 7pm if your dinner booking is for 7.15pm. Even if he turns up late, you’ll still make your initial reservation.
3 HE PASSES GAS AROUND YOU
If you don’t want to hurt his feelings, try the subtle approach first. “Move away each time he
does that – so he'll know that you find his habit offensive,” says Lilian.
If he still doesn’t get it, then tell him directly to move away from you if he needs to pass gas.
4 HE’S JUST SO FORGETFUL
Constantly remind him of his appointments or tasks. “We are all connected by technology now
so just text him to jolt his memory about upcoming events, especially the important ones,” advises Lilian.
5 HE DOESN’T LIFT A FINGER AT HOME
“Discuss how the issue can be dealt with together,” says Lilian. If need be, draw up a list of weekly chores or family duties to be shared between the two of you.
“Try not to give him ultimatums – they may work well for some couples but they can backfire for others. It’s better to just talk to your husband respectfully about the problem and resolve it together.”
This article was originally published in Simply Her March 2014.