Q: I’ve been married for a few years now and I feel like my husband has lost interest in sex. What can I do to spruce things up?
A: This is a surprisingly easy one, just ask him what he wants. Now here is the catch, you have to be ready for his answer and keep an open mind to whatever he suggests. (Within limits, of course.)
By immediately shutting him down after he tells you what’s on his mind, you might have just made him feel like he can’t open up to you. Couples need to be open to new things because our sexual tastes can change just like our palate.
However, if he suggests doing something which you feel that you absolutely will not be able to handle, then tell him that up front, but nicely. At least he’ll know where you stand, and the both of you could come to a compromise.
Here are some ways you can try to add some spice into your sex life:
1. Pretend you just met him
Impress him by buying new lingerie, getting up just a little earlier than usual to join him in the shower or making time to play later in the tub. This should help you rediscover each other's sexiness again.
2. Get high-tech
Try emailing him sexy fantasy scenarios on his personal email account. This might be useful if you feel embarrassed showing him your sexual side face-to- face, and should get him hot under the collar just thinking about what to expect when he gets home.
3. Pay racy compliments
Slowly undress before each other and take turns telling each other how beautiful each part of your body is, and what you’d like to do to it. Shouldn’t be too long before you’ll end up between the sheets.
The writer is a man-about-town in Singapore, and likes spicy ice-cream, pig Latin and long walks off short piers. He will regularly be bringing us a guy’s perspective on love and relationships.